Healing in the Remembering
Forgetting the sufferings, mistakes, and pain of the past may seem the easy way out but it is not God’s way of healing me.
“Live in the moment.” How often have I been told to stay in the present? How often have I repeated this mantra to myself and others? Focusing and refocusing my attention on what is right before me, in the here and now, calms my anxieties and I am more effective in carrying out God’s will moment to moment. This mental practice of staying in the moment is a mental, emotional, and spiritual challenge. I have repeatedly asked God to please erase my memories of past darkness, to make me forget. I believed what I no longer remembered would no longer cause me pain and I would be healed. Forgetting the sufferings, mistakes, and pain of the past may seem the easy way out but it is not God’s way of healing me.
In today’s first reading, Exodus 32:9-14, the theme of remembering caught my attention and caused me to reflect further on why forgetting is not synonymous with healing. The Israelites repeatedly forgot all that God had done to rescue them from slavery and provide for them in the desert. And now they have built the golden calf and are worshiping it instead of the God who brought them out of Egypt. God calls His chosen ones, “a stiff-necked people” and tells Moses to leave Him alone so that His “anger may burn against them and I may destroy them.” Moses pleads for the unfaithful Israelites by asking God to remember His promises from the past.
“But Moses sought the favor of the Lord his God. “Lord,” he said, “why should your anger burn against your people, whom you brought out of Egypt with great power and a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians say, ‘It was with evil intent that he brought them out, to kill them in the mountains and to wipe them off the face of the earth’? Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac and Israel, to whom you swore by your own self: ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your descendants all this land I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.’ Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.”
I don’t think it was God who had forgotten His mighty deeds or His promises. Perhaps, Scripture records this dialogue between Moses and God to remind us that God never forgets or dishonors His promises and that He is merciful and forgiving.
In Psalm 106, the theme of remembering continues. David writes about the golden calf incident, a historical event, a pivotal memory, and he says “Our fathers… they forgot the God who had saved them… His wondrous deeds.” Perhaps, the Israelites went astray because they were focused only on their present suffering. In trying to forget their pain they also forgot the goodness of God and His power to rescue and heal. I do not want to forget God’s presence in my life - past, present, or future. Remembering how God protected, saved, and healed me in the past gives me courage to be anchored in the present and face the uncertainty of the future with confidence.
What a beautiful reflection Laura. It reminds me of how our Beloved Bridegroom waits within my heart with me, and when a memory of the past arises, I swiftly turn and give it to Him, knowing that only He can turn it to good. I trust Him with all those souls from my past, those I have hurt and those who have hurt me. I am powerless to change the past, but Jesus is not powerless! He is Almighty, and is not held by the boundaries of time. He knows and loves each soul intimately, and wants the best for each one.